It's taken alot to be able to be on the computer long enough to find this place, or any place for that matter, that might be able to help me find answers.




I guess fears and shattered minds run in the family. Most of my family has panic attacks for one reason or another, and all of my siblings are terrified of doctors or high-authority figures of any kind. It's all they can do to try and help me out when they kind.




Me, I can't bear to leave my house most often.




It's not that I fear the outdoors. Or crowds. Or people. By themselves, they're fine. It's the chaotic evil that I think I've finally pinpointed that's the cause of it all. Colors. Wild, spinning, screaming colors. I can hear them practically. Buzzing and humming, high-pitched non-noises that send my heart beating so fast that I think I'm going to die.




People have told me that I'd be a psychologist's dream come true. Eccentric and complex. Whatever. All I know is that silent blacks and greys are the only way to keep my world still. And red is the thing that my nightmares are made of.




If anyone has any sort of reply...of any kind...please e-mail me or post. Something. A monochromatic world is lonely and I don't know how much longer I can take this. But please....I NEED to keep myself anonymous. For my sanity.


~Hunter~